Dave snuggled close to a sleeping Mick and sighed. It was four-thirty am, and Mick had only got back to sleep half an hour ago, after waking up in terrible pain.
The healer they saw, had explained that this was a normal thing to happen in a male pregnancy at around six months. There was nothing to do but put up with it, until the magic within Mick had done it’s job, to ensure his body was ready to bring the baby into the world.
Dave found it very hard to see the man he loved going through such agony, which sometimes was so bad that Mick was crying in pain.
When Mick had woken up at around three thirty-five, he had woken up Dave, who found his lover on the floor, writhing in pain with tears streaming down his face. Mick’s face had been so pale, and it had taken Dave a good five minutes to get Mick back into bed.
Mick really hated the taste of the prescribed potion, so Dave tried massaging him with oil Drizella had recommended to see if that would help a little. It helped Mick to relax, and Dave talking to him in soothing tones stopped Mick from crying. After massaging his stomach and hips for fifteen minutes however, Mick was still in a great deal of pain, so he asked Dave to get the potion, as it seemed to help him sleep.
Dave lay quietly, stroking Mick’s hair. He thought to himself of all the bizarre things that had happened to them both in the past few months. He still found it so hard to believe that this whole thing was not a dream. The fact he was going to be a father, and even more so, that Mick was the one carrying his child, really did take some getting used to.
Dave listened to his lover’s gentle breathing, Mick looked so peaceful and Dave hoped he would sleep for a fair few hours into the morning, to make up for the amount of pain he had been in. Poor Mick would probably lose enough sleep once the baby was here. Dave then began thinking of how they needed to get a cot for the baby. In his head, there were so many things that still needed to be done before this baby arrived. To begin with, as they knew they were having a girl, they needed to get some pretty little clothes. As the child was due on Dave’s birthday, which was February, it would still be cold. Dave was thinking of hats, little pink cardigans, bootees and blankets.
As Dave lay beside a sleeping Mick, he pictured their little one being pushed in her pram by the sea front in her little pink bonnet, with big blue eyes smiling up at him. Dave wondered who she would take after, him or Mick? Perhaps she would be across between the two of them, maybe with Mick’s beautiful dark green eyes and Dave’s mouth. He hoped to goodness she would look nothing like her uncle Ray...that suddenly made Dave think!
Oh boy, Dave thought. What the hell am I going to say to Ray? It’s one thing to tell him that I’m going to be a father, but when he finds out Mick is the one carrying my baby, what is he going to say? What is he going to do? Will he still love his little niece? Or will he want nothing to do with her?
Then of course, there was Dave’s family. How would they react? Would his mum and dad accept their grandchild?
Dave lay there in the dark, all he could hear was Mick’s gentle breathing. He snuggled close to Mick, who felt so warm. Dave pulled the blankets over them both, and put his arm around Mick. He gently placed a hand on Mick’s bump to see if he could feel their baby daughter moving; Mick often said the baby seemed to be most active when he was lying still and trying to have a rest.
Dave kept still to see if the little one would move for him now; he was not disappointed. His hand felt a couple of tiny kicks, he waited to see if the baby would move a little more for her daddy, but she did not seem to be very active, perhaps she was asleep. Dave wished he could be asleep just like Mick and the baby, but so many thoughts were going through his mind at once, and not all of them were good thoughts.
He was kept awake for at least another hour because of the worries he had about his family’s reactions to this most unheard of pregnancy. Then he came to realise that it was not just his family he needed to worry about; there was also the band, his music career and the band’s image too. Dave knew that he and Mick were already under suspicion anyway, with the lack of women in their lives, and the fact they had been sharing a flat for so long. However, they had now moved away into a beautiful cottage, apparently among people who would accept their relationship.
Dave was still freaked out by the idea that they were living among witches and wizards, because if and when he met some of them, what would they be like? He remembered Drizella warning him, that he needed to be wary of one or two of them who lived nearby, but that most of them in that area were lovely. Still, Dave knew that he needed to make a new start in his life with Mick, and that no place they lived in would ever be perfect.
He was by no means in any rush to meet any of his nearby neighbours just yet, they were both still settling in to the new place and still adjusting to their new life and so far they had both agreed to keep themselves to themselves.
Dave lay thinking of what they were going to do about the band before the baby was born, he knew they would have to come clean because otherwise, how were they to get out of the upcoming tour that had been planned for early the following year? Dave knew that Mick was reluctant to talk about it, but it really had to be discussed and soon. The baby was due in less than three months, which really did not give them much time.
Dave soon began drifting off to sleep, but as he was doing so, he decided there and then that he was going to tell Ray, Pete, their managers and his parents that he was going to become a father. They were to travel to London very soon to spend time at Ray’s house, discussing their tour and about the songs that were going to be played at each concert. He would speak to Mick about this tomorrow as soon as he could catch his lover in a good mood.
“ARE YOU NUTS??!!” Mick exclaimed the next day, when Dave brought up the subject.
“No Mick I’m not,” Dave answered with an exasperated sigh. “I was thinking about this as I was laying in bed. You know, after you had your bad pains that kept us both awake. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I just have to tell someone that I’m going to be a dad. I’m not hiding my baby daughter away from the world!”
“It’s my daughter too!” Mick argued back. “We’ve been through this Dave and I thought we decided it was best to…”
“Best to what Mick?” Dave asked, making frustrated movements with his hands. “Wait right up until the last minute when this baby’s about to come out? I don’t think so somehow. Anyway I thought you said you wanted to get out of the tour, after all you are going to be heavily pregnant when the time comes, and you could drop at any minute.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Mick replied. “The baby is more than likely to be delivered a few weeks before the due date, you know I’m having a caesarean.”
The couple were sitting at the kitchen table at eleven o'clock that morning, having a late breakfast as they had slept in. Dave was dressed, because he had got straight into the shower when they both woke up and realised they had slept late, but Mick was still in his pyjamas and dressing gown as the baby was taking so much energy out of him, and he just did not want to be bothered with anything at all that day.
When Dave had brought up the subject once again, of them coming clean about their relationship and their unborn baby, Mick was not happy.
Deep down, Mick felt that perhaps he was being unreasonable in a way, as how could they hide this situation for much longer? It was inevitable that someone he did not trust was going to find out everything sooner or later. The list of people Mick did not trust were as long as his arm. Among these people were Robert Wace, Dave’s parents,and most of the Davies family.
Mick found Pete and Grenville to be the kindest of all of them. As for the rest, sure he got on alright with them and he stayed on their right side, but he was afraid of their reactions and what they would do when they found out?
The couple continued to argue.
“Yeah but are you sure you are having a caesarean?” Dave queried. “Weren’t we told that because your body is changing, that you might be capable of giving birth naturally?”
“I am NOT giving birth naturally Dave!” Mick hissed. “You even pointed this out to that healer guy we saw didn’t you?”
“Yeah but do we have a choice if they look at you and decide you should try and give birth naturally?” Dave argued.
“Look, we’re going off the subject a little,” Mick pointed out, before he suddenly grabbed his stomach and winced in pain, causing Dave to become very concerned.
“Mick, are you alright?” Dave gasped, kneeling down to Mick’s level and putting his arm around him.
Mick sat with his head down on the table, gripping it tightly with one hand and holding his stomach with the other. Dave could see from the expression on his face that Mick was in terrible pain and it frightened him, Dave was unsure if the healer had been right about the pains being normal. Mick’s face would become so pale, and sometimes he looked as though he was struggling to breathe. Dave rubbed Mick’s back soothingly and stroked his hair, but this did not take away the pain.
“Shall I get you some of that potion my darling?” Dave asked gently.
Mick could not speak, all he could do was nod. The pain was not just in his back, hips and stomach anymore; he felt this agony all over his body and the pain sometimes got so terrible that he would have done anything to stop it, even kill himself if that was what it took.
Dave quickly ran to the cupboard where the potion was kept, and quickly poured the amount that was needed into the goblet that had come with it.
Even the goblet gave Dave the creeps, but if it helped his darling Mick then that did not matter. He quickly brought it back to Mick, who had still not moved from the position he was in. Dave placed the full goblet on the table and lifted Mick into a sitting position; Dave noticed how any kind of movement seemed painful to Mick whenever he was suffering with these pains. When Mick let out a cry of pain at being made to sit up, Dave wondered if he should take Mick back to the healer or mention it to Drizella on her next visit; he was not convinced that this was normal, even if they had been told it was.
“It’s okay Mick,” Dave said soothingly. “Here my love, drink this, it will help you.”
Dave held Mick’s head gently in one hand, and with the other, he placed the goblet against Mick’s mouth and told him to drink. After Mick had taken a few sips, he was able to lift his hand and drink it himself, which was a good sign as it meant the potion was doing it’s job.
Mick drank the entire contents of the goblet, made a face because of the extremely unpleasant taste, and then leaned his head against Dave. Dave held Mick in a tight hug and stroked his hair gently. He then helped poor Mick into the main living room, so that he could lie on the sofa and rest for a while. Mick still found it hard to walk, as the potion would only take the edge off the pain to make it easier for him to rest.
When Mick was lying comfortably on the sofa, and Dave had adjusted his pillow and covered him with a blanket, he said to Dave, “I’m sorry my darling.” Mick lifted up his hand to stroke Dave’s face.
“What are you sorry for, my love?” Dave asked him.
“For making things so difficult for you,” Mick replied in a weak voice.
“What do you mean?” Dave asked with a confused look.
“Well, you know,” Mick answered. “Like, when you tell me we need to make plans for our baby girl, like telling friends and family about her, and I don’t want to because I’m too scared of what they might say and do. But you are right, we haven’t really got very long have we? We need to talk about this and I keep trying to put it off because I’m scared.”
“I understand you’re scared Mick, my love,” Dave said soothingly. “So am I, and I can’t pretend I’m not. But we’re in this together, I’m here for you no matter what, and nothing’s going to change that. We have to explain to people why we can’t go on the tour that’s planned for the new year. We ideally need to get people together who need to know, to sit them down and we have to explain the situation to them.”
“It’s going to be a big thing for them to take in,” Mick pointed out. “I don’t think I will ever be ready”
“I know,” Dave agreed. “Nobody is ready for this if you think about it. You’re not ready to tell the world, nor am I. Just like I was never really ready to be a father just yet, even though I am happy that it’s happened, I was never ready for any of it. I bet even the doctors we have seen are not ready for it.”
“So, remind me again,” Mick said with a small laugh. “Before I had those horrible pains, we were in the middle of an argument.”
“We sure were,” Dave replied, rolling his eyes. “I told you we have to start telling people our news. I was actually thinking of just telling them I’m gonna be a dad to start with, just to get them used to the idea.”
Mick frowned a little, “What, and leave me out?”
“Just at first,” Dave reassured him, then he took hold of Mick’s hand. “You need to remember that nobody knows we are together, apart from a few weird people we don’t know very well.”
“Yeah but...what are you going to say to them?” Mick asked, looking worried.
“Like I said,” Dave replied. “I’m just gonna tell them I’m going to be a dad, and I’m going to let them know where I’ve moved to, you know...just to get them used to the idea. Then when they want to meet the one who’s having my baby, I will invite Ray and my family here and that’s when they will see you.”
Mick was not comfortable with his partner’s idea, he was starting to feel as if Dave was once again trying to take control and bring people to his home that he did not want to see. He had wanted to move away from London, and be with Dave in a beautiful house for a long time. Mick was not prepared to have anyone else over who would try to take over his life and try to have a say about what happens with the baby. It was his baby, he was carrying it whether Dave was the other parent or not.
Mick began to have thoughts of Dave’s parents wanting to take his child away, in fact he began to have all these irrational thoughts at once. Then he thought that even if Dave’s parents were supportive of their relationship, which in Mick’s mind was unlikely, he did not want Dave’s mother in his home trying to take over parenting responsibilities. Mick was not going to have that, and he wanted Dave to stop being such a control freak.
“Dave, I don’t think you have really thought this through my darling,” Mick said in a worried tone. “You can’t just have Ray and your family here and tell them that I’m the one who’s having your baby, you know what your dad’s been like with me, we’ve discussed this before.”
“Well...I don’t know how much longer we can keep this up Mick,” Dave replied. “All this secrecy I mean, so that’s why…”
“I don’t trust your dad,” Mick hissed. “Please Dave, please don’t let your parents come here. Why can’t you tell them next time you’re in London if you must, when I’m not with you.”
“Mick my darling…” Dave began, but Mick stopped him.
“Dave please...please listen to me,” he pleaded, and Mick looked so beautiful and crestfallen when he said these words that he would have moved a heart of stone; Dave was almost moved to tears by his boyfriend’s pleading. “Dave, this is my home and it’s my baby...well I know it’s yours too, but I’m the one carrying our little girl and you see how I’ve been suffering lately...really I’ve suffered right from the start. So please, I ask you...no, I beg you not to have any of your family invade our home…” Mick put his hand on his bump when he said the next words, “...our little girl’s home too. I don’t want people thinking they can come here and take over whenever they want to, not your mother, not anyone, please.”
Dave was not quite sure what to say to Mick’s words; he felt hurt that his pregnant boyfriend accused him more or less of being controlling. Really all he wanted, was to be able to share how much he loved Mick to all those people in his life he cared about; he did not want to hide anything anymore. But then, their kind of relationship was illegal, maybe they should speak to one of the experts from St. Mungo’s, and seek their advice on what to tell his immediate family of their situation. Yes, that might be a better plan to begin with, that was what they would do on Drizella’s next visit, which would be just before they set off back to London again, where they would remain for about a fortnight. So Dave suggested to Mick what he had just been thinking.
Mick calmed down after Dave suggested speaking to Drizella, “Yes...thank you Dave,” he said, sounding relieved, and Dave was pleased to see that the colour was coming back into Mick’s face. “Yes, why didn’t I think of that, Drizella will know what to do, we should ask her about letting people know of our situation, after all, we can’t just drop out of the tour for no reason can we?”
“Hey, let’s worry about all this some other time,” Dave said, gently brushing a strand of Mick’s hair away from his eyes. “After all, that Drizella person comes to visit you just before we leave for London, we will tell her what we plan to do.”
“I do love you Dave,” Mick murmured with love in his eyes. “You do know that don’t you? Please don’t ever doubt that.”
“I’ve never doubted that for a second my darling,” Dave replied, stroking Mick’s face. “I love you more than anything else in the world, more than anyone. You and this baby are the most important people to me, don’t ever doubt that. I always want to do right by you both.”
“I know, and you will,” Mick smiled. “But you know how worried I get and you understand my qualms about your…”
“About my family?” Dave guessed, raising his eyebrows. “Yes I do understand, I promise I will never do anything to make you unhappy, and if that means my family aren’t allowed to come here for a while, then so be it.”
“Oh I’m not saying they can’t come, but…”
“I know what you mean,” Dave reassured Mick. “And I agree with you, I won’t allow my mother to try and take over raising our child, it’s our job to do that, but still, she will want to see her granddaughter one day, and so will my dad, you do understand that don’t you?”
“Yes, of course,” Mick agreed. “I mean, I have no family, and our little girl has a right to see other members of her family.”
“But don’t worry,” Dave stressed. “I will make sure they accept our relationship before they can see her, that is one thing that must be so. If they want to see this baby, they have to see you too and accept you.”
“You mean that?” Mick asked in surprise. “You really would put me first?”
“Your feelings, and you and the baby are the most important things to me,” Dave said. “You will always come first, if my family can’t accept you, then that’s their problem, not yours or mine.”
Mick smiled lovingly at what Dave had just said, “Kiss me,” he begged.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Dave leaned in and gently planted a kiss on Mick’s beautiful lips; it had actually been a while since they had kissed properly with Mick having been so ill, but now, Dave wanted to make the most of this kiss before Mick had one of his painful attacks again.
Dave relished in this most loving and sweet kiss, Mick’s mouth tasted of sugar and other sweet things, kissing Mick had always been one of Dave’s favourite pastimes. He gently slid the tip of his tongue inside Mick’s beautiful mouth; Mick was doing the same thing to him. Mick took hold of Dave’s head and lovingly ran his fingers through his lover’s long, dark hair; while he was feeling relaxed and happy, he wanted to enjoy this intimate moment while he could.
When they finally broke away from their passionate kiss, Dave smiled lovingly at his pregnant partner, stroked Mick’s hair tenderly and looked into his beautiful eyes. Mick lay there looking up at Dave, loving his kind face and gentle touch, something he could not do without right now.
“I love you Dave,” Mick murmured, in a dreamlike manner.
“I love you too my darling,” Dave replied. “Never doubt that.”
Mick suddenly felt the baby kicking again, and it was wonderful to feel. He took hold of Dave’s hand and placed it on his bump where he had felt the sudden movements, they had felt the baby moving a fair few times since they had moved into their new home, but this was the first time that morning. Dave loved to feel his daughter moving around inside Mick, this baby was the biggest miracle since Jesus, and Dave could not wait to meet her.